This is so insightful, thank you for sharing! I completely agree that it takes an "inner knowing" to understand what calls to you vs what has been prescribed. To answer your question: I don't think I just know what to commit to. I've found it's more like developing a relationship with my own decision-making process. Some markers that hav…
This is so insightful, thank you for sharing! I completely agree that it takes an "inner knowing" to understand what calls to you vs what has been prescribed. To answer your question: I don't think I just know what to commit to. I've found it's more like developing a relationship with my own decision-making process. Some markers that have worked for me:
- There's a difference between the resistance that comes from growth and the resistance that comes from forcing something that's fundamentally misaligned. So I pay attention to what energises me even when it's difficult.
- I also watch for what I naturally return to, even when no one's watching or expecting anything from me. I think of these as natural gravitational points that signal what I might want to commit to.
You're right to highlight that distinction between committing for commitment's sake versus committing to something that genuinely calls to us. I think that's where agency plays an important role again: it isn't just about the ability to commit, but also about the ability to discern what's worth committing to. What do you think?
Hi Sindhu, I found myself returning to your piece and this brief interaction. I wrote something that kinda responds to your essay and the learned helplessness point. Thought I’d share in case you’re interested in reading it. :)
Those markers are very insightful—thank you for sharing.
Your point about the two types of resistance particularly resonates, and I think it connects to the issue of "being forced into commitments." When you learn to push through regardless of circumstances, you can lose connection to that feeling of misalignment...or perhaps more accurately, you're denied the chance to develop that connection—which is fundamentally a connection to yourself?
And yes, I agree on the discernment point. I'd say the ability to discern is a stronger indicator of agency than simply being able to commit.
This is so insightful, thank you for sharing! I completely agree that it takes an "inner knowing" to understand what calls to you vs what has been prescribed. To answer your question: I don't think I just know what to commit to. I've found it's more like developing a relationship with my own decision-making process. Some markers that have worked for me:
- There's a difference between the resistance that comes from growth and the resistance that comes from forcing something that's fundamentally misaligned. So I pay attention to what energises me even when it's difficult.
- I also watch for what I naturally return to, even when no one's watching or expecting anything from me. I think of these as natural gravitational points that signal what I might want to commit to.
You're right to highlight that distinction between committing for commitment's sake versus committing to something that genuinely calls to us. I think that's where agency plays an important role again: it isn't just about the ability to commit, but also about the ability to discern what's worth committing to. What do you think?
Hi Sindhu, I found myself returning to your piece and this brief interaction. I wrote something that kinda responds to your essay and the learned helplessness point. Thought I’d share in case you’re interested in reading it. :)
https://substack.com/home/post/p-159351736?source=queue
Those markers are very insightful—thank you for sharing.
Your point about the two types of resistance particularly resonates, and I think it connects to the issue of "being forced into commitments." When you learn to push through regardless of circumstances, you can lose connection to that feeling of misalignment...or perhaps more accurately, you're denied the chance to develop that connection—which is fundamentally a connection to yourself?
And yes, I agree on the discernment point. I'd say the ability to discern is a stronger indicator of agency than simply being able to commit.